Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Why You’re Stuck, and How to Fix It

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Jul 15, 2024

Explore why you're stuck and how to fix it with insights on self-acceptance, motivation, fear of the unknown, and breaking through plateaus. Discover tips for personal growth and overcoming obstacles in a candid discussion between the hosts and a clinical psychologist.

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ADVICE

Practical Steps To Self-Acceptance

Practice self-acceptance by noticing facts and disidentifying from critical inner voices.
Try simple steps like mirror statements or writing 'I accept that...' to build acceptance muscle.

INSIGHT

Identity Builds The Bars Of Your Cage

Attachment to identity and rigidity traps us by narrowing allowable change.
Use 'don't know' mind and small experiments to loosen fixed self-views and expand flexibility.

ADVICE

Experiment To Expand Flexibility

Honor how strong your defenses are and intentionally open them a little at a time.
Run low-stakes experiments and pick areas with minimal risk to practice flexibility.

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Most of us have gone through a time in life when it felt like we were stuck: unable to deal with our issues, change in useful ways, or make our lives the way we wanted them to be. It’s often not for lack of trying. You read the books, you followed the exercises, you maybe even saw a therapist…but it just didn’t help. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why this happens, and what we can do about it.

Rick shares a simple framework we can approach change through before Forrest digs into the six key factors that prevent us from changing. They talk about self-acceptance and how we can relax our attachment to the current version of ourselves, before moving on to factors that affect motivation. They then discuss working with fears, becoming courageous, and leaning into a more authentic version of who we are.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:25: What we can (and can’t) change

4:15: Taking inventory: What hasn’t worked?

9:00: Seeing what’s true

15:25: Holding onto an identity, recognizing your defenses, and experimenting

29:55: Motivating yourself, and releasing feelings of guilt

36:35: Secondary gains

46:30: Courage, boredom, and fear of the unknown

50:20: Appreciating how our environment influences us

55:40: Seeing what’s already working, and getting new inputs

1:04:00: Authentically being you

1:06:55: Recap

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