Listener question: moving forwards or backwards?

Can i just ask for a heads up ... i have done your Change and Stress courses .... i am observing things in the way you suggest ... i notice i am suddenly freaking out big time because i have a tiny kitten arriving ... this feels like a huge thing for me as i already live in a hoarders chaos and find it so hard to manage things in the material form  i am really worried that this is just me ADDING to my pattern of chaos and disorder . So that not only do i have a chaotic hoarders house thats full of boxes, piles, building materials and hardly managable .. but now i'm adding in a kitten to make it all WORSE and more extremely out of control chaos. Sometimes i stand in my home surrounded by this insurmoutable chaos and feel like i'm in a mensa test that is way above my IQ level - i literally dont know where to begin with it all and attempts to move forwards just seem to have me adding more chaos ... what if this kitten arriving isnt a positive change and is me just 'staying the same' and adding in more extremes  ! - does that make sense. How do we know if somehting is a good change or just more of the same to ensure staying the same and not changing. It really feels like this is 'stirring' something up and testing me on some level ... as if all my futile attempts to keep on top of anything and stay in control will just 'go out the window' and push me over an edge. How can we know if somehting is us moving forward or backwards ! ... at this point i really dont want more of the same! and so long for sanity and an ordered living space!