The Greg McKeown Podcast

369. We've Declared War on Kindness Around the World - Jamil Zaki

24 snips
Jan 1, 2026
Jamil Zaki, a Stanford psychology professor and author of *The War for Kindness*, delves into the significance of real empathy and understanding in human connections. He discusses how our confidence can hinder genuine connection and contrasts traditional empathy with a more rigorous approach. The conversation highlights the dangers of overconfidence in understanding others and presents practical exercises to enhance listening skills. They also touch on the implications of AI in empathy training, ultimately emphasizing that empathy is a learnable skill crucial for effective leadership.
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ANECDOTE

Tapper Game Reveals Overconfidence

  • Greg recounts Elizabeth Newton's tapper experiment showing huge overconfidence.
  • He tested listeners' confidence and found it even higher than tappers, confirming overconfidence.
ADVICE

Use Two-Phase Listening Practice

  • Practice two-phase listening: relate first, then switch to perspective getting.
  • Paraphrase the speaker and request corrections to deepen understanding.
ADVICE

Audit Your Curiosity Before Conversations

  • Change conversation goals from performance to learning by auditing what you don't know.
  • Write down unknowns about the person before talking and ask to fill them in.
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