MeetMyPotential #20 You are a conditional decision maker, how to break free with Robin Coghlan
In this episode we welcome Robin Coghlan, Head of Operations at Coaches Training Institute. He loves helping people in making better decisions and is here today to talk about conditional decision making. Robin also tells us about the system he uses to determine his clients’ conditions and how we can utilize it ourselves.
What is a conditioned decision maker?
It’s based on the idea that human beings are highly susceptible to influences from our environment and, therefore, the decisions we make are not always in alignment with what’s correct for us.
Some people are more susceptible to certain condition than others. Every human that is interested in self-development wants to understand this about themselves because we are that conditioning force. We can put more attention on areas that we are more susceptible to.
Robin works with clients on determining their susceptibility to certain conditions. He then explores those conditions with the client to see how they show up in the client’s life.
“Just because of one conditioning factor, you could end up somewhere thinking ‘I’m not happy where I am.’”
What is an example that someone can face due to their conditioning?
Two behavioral tendencies of Robin are:
- Not knowing when enough is enough.
- Always rushing to free oneself of pressure.
Those two things are separate, but you can see how they play together. The pressure Robin feels from his environment is immense, and that is fundamentally hardwired into his design. Because he is aware of this, he can feel it happening day-to-day and then gets to choose. He can recognize it and then tell himself that he doesn’t have to rush, but rather pause and let the pressure rub off him. He can also form agreements with friends, family, and colleagues that help him validate when enough is enough.
“If you do not face this and understand it, where this leads eventually is burnout.”
You may think this is common for everyone, and while that is a huge conditioning factor in our world, some people are better adept to working to that pressure than others.
‘We’re not yet fully aware of the intriguing uniqueness of individuals, and this is what I love about the system that I work with. It really points, in such detail, to the uniqueness of the individual.”
How do you know what people are conditioned to?
Over Robin’s years of experience doing many versions of personality tests, he has begun to see issues with any system that asks him to answer questions to be able to tell him who he is. He does not trust that he is always connected with what is most correct for him.
“If I have a conditioning element, the answers I’m giving in to any system are going to mirror back a report of my conditioning.”
The system Robin prefers is called Human Design. It’s based on birth data (specifically time of birth) and is a science of differentiation. What Robin has come to appreciate, through years of skepticism, is that he doesn’t get to choose what happened at his time of birth. There are energetic systems in our world, and this system speaks to that. Humans are complex, and this system has revealed things that Robin has not come across anywhere else.
How did Robin choose a path of less resistance and what does he suggest for our listeners?
If the resistance is so strong, then you’re going to be striving so hard for an outcome that is just not correct for you. To live a life of less resistance:
- Become deeply self-aware.
- Develop a community of friends and colleagues to support you on your journey.
- Design into your life the discipline and courage to say “no, that’s not correct for me.”
For example, Robin believes based on everything he has learned that he does not belong in a typical two-person relationship for life. He has had to accept that he can’t be in one. This doesn’t mean he needs some crazy open relationship, but his complex knowledge has shown him that relationships are not for him.
“People who want to talk to me about it come with this conditioned script about ‘what’s wrong with you that you can’t hold a relationship? It’s not right. You’re going to be alone. You need someone in your life.’ That is the most common conditioning in our world. That’s just so not true for me. It takes courage to stand up to that, take action, and design your life appropriately.”
What’s a tip Robin can give to help people break free from conditioning?
Find out your birth time, that’s usually the most difficult thing to find. Then, you can go to https://www.humandesign.info/and receive your chart for free. Regardless of what impact this has had on you, just be curious. We need to devote curiosity and self-compassion to look at the patterns in our lives to transcend them.