Good Life Project How to Keep the Spark Alive: Secrets from 40 Years of Love Research with Drs. Julie and John Gottman
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May 9, 2024 
Love researchers, Drs. Julie and John Gottman share secrets for lasting love - 5:1 ratio, bids for connection, 4 horsemen to avoid. Insights from their book, Eight Dates. Discusses impact of positive emotions, reversing learned helplessness, destructive behaviors, deepening connection, nurturing intimacy, and discovering joy of loving fully.
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Contempt Harms Health
- Contempt, the worst horseman, involves attacking a partner with sarcasm or mockery from a position of superiority.
- It damages the relationship and the listener's immune system.
Stonewalling and Flooding
- Stonewalling, the fourth horseman, is withdrawing emotionally and refusing to respond.
- Take breaks during conflict to self-soothe and avoid flooding.
Positive Communication
- Instead of criticizing, reassure your partner and express your needs positively.
- Take responsibility for your part in the problem, and show respect and affection.