When You Speak Different Love Languages with Dr. Gary Chapman

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Feb 17, 2026

Dr. Gary Chapman, relationship counselor and author of The Five Love Languages, explains why love can be missed when partners speak different languages. He breaks down the five love languages, explores dialects and personality effects, discusses shifting needs across life seasons, and introduces the five apology languages. Short, practical conversation about making love feel like love.

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ANECDOTE

Chores Didn’t Translate To Feeling Loved

Gary Chapman recounts a husband who did many chores yet whose wife felt unloved because they never talked.
That story revealed people can love differently and inspired the five love languages concept.

INSIGHT

Five Core Ways People Feel Love

Chapman defines five core emotional languages: words, acts, gifts, time, and touch.
He argues people feel love most deeply when it’s expressed in their primary language.

ADVICE

Use The Premium Assessment To Find Dialects

Chapman and collaborators created a premium assessment to identify dialects within each love language.
Use the assessment to learn specific dialects and tailor how you express love.

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If you’ve ever thought, “I'm showing love to my partner, so why don’t they feel it?” This episode is for you. This week on Laugh Lines, we’re talking to the actual human who gave us the phrase “love language.” Yes. The one, the only... Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr. Chapman is the man behind the famous book, The Five Love Languages. He joins us to talk about what happens when you and your person are speaking completely different love languages, and why dialect of a love language is also important.

'Acts of Service' might be my personal version of romance, but that's not Penn's. It's important to understand that how you show someone love doesn't mean they feel love. We discuss what to do when your partner’s love language is the one you’re worst at, how love languages shift in different seasons, and the five apology languages (including why “I’m sorry if you felt that way” absolutely does not count!)

If you’ve ever wondered why you feel deeply loved when someone washes the dishes or why you just want someone to sit down and actually talk to you… this conversation might give you the language you’ve been missing. Whether you’re married, dating, parenting, working, or just trying to understand the humans in your life - there's something everyone can take away. Sometimes the problem isn’t love, it's how we show it. (Big thanks to Dr. Chapman for coming on the show, this was one of our favorite podcasts to record!) Learn more about Dr. Gary Chapman.

We love to hear from you! Leave us a message at 323-364-3929 or write the show at podcast@theholdernessfamily.com. You can also watch our podcast on YouTube.

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Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness is an evolution of The Holderness Family Podcast, which began in 2018. Kim and Penn Holderness are award-winning online content creators known for their original music, song parodies, comedy sketches, and weekly podcasts. Their videos have resulted in over three billion views and over nine million followers since 2013. Penn and Kim are also authors of the New York Times Bestselling Books, ADHD Is Awesome: A Guide To (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD and All You Can Be With ADHD. They were also winners on The Amazing Race (Season 33) on CBS.

Laugh Lines is hosted and executive produced by Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness, with original music by Penn Holderness. Laugh Lines is also written and produced by Ann Marie Taepke, and edited and produced by Sam Allen. It is hosted by Acast. Thanks for listening!

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