Episode 50: The Biggest Vetting Mistake

Jul 18, 2025

They unpack the common vetting mistake women make when dating and why it keeps good men away. They define “resume dating” and explore the first-date trap of deciding someone is husband material too soon. They contrast defensive checklist-style vetting with feminine receptivity and explain how opening up over time creates better dating momentum.

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INSIGHT

Checklist Vetting Kills Receptivity

Many women vet men by checking a mental checklist, which moves them into their head and away from receptivity.
This mindset creates a guarded, “barbed wire” presence that repels high-quality men.

ADVICE

Stop Resume Dating Immediately

Avoid 'resume dating' where you treat a date like a job interview and only check boxes.
Instead receive the man, enjoy his presence, and let chemistry and character unfold over time.

INSIGHT

Feminine Receptivity Triggers Pursuit

Vetting from the head prevents triggering a man's heroic instinct and blocks chivalrous behavior.
Entering feminine receptivity instead invites pursuit and accelerates authentic connection.

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If you’re a woman who has been through the wringer in your love life, experiencing disappointment after disappointment, heartbreak after heartbreak, it can be challenging to just pick yourself up, dust yourself up, and begin again…In fact, what we’ve noticed with many of the women who come into our world, is that the longer they’ve been “in the game” of dating, but haven’t yet found their person, their walls tend to get higher and higher, their list of preferences gets longer and longer, and they enter into a self-perpetuating cycle of staying single, chronically and indefinitely…It’s normal to put your guard up against the thing you don’t want to experience again with a man, of course….The problem is, if you’re dating from this guarded place, you’ve likely actively repelling the kinds of good, solid, trustworthy, high-caliber masculine men who would make excellent husbands…If you’re going on each date, sizing the man you’re sitting across the table from against the list in your head, it’s not likely you’re going to get a second date with this gentleman…Because to him, you feel a lot more like barbed wire, when he’s looking for honey. This is perhaps THE single greatest vetting mistake with the women who come into our work, what Jonathan calls “resume dating,” and it’s an EPIDEMIC amongst modern women.In this podcast episode, Jonathan and I go deep into this phenomenon that we see with the women who come into our work, why women do this, and how to shift this so you can…Attract higher-caliber masculine suitors who are excited to date you, claim you, and commit to youStop feeling like “no man meets your standards,” and start setting the right expectations of what to look for in a future spouseSoften your guard, open your heart, and be a warm, inviting, receptive woman who men crave being around (and from that place, you can simply see who rises to the occasion, and who doesn’t).And…if you’re ready to start dating again, or begin to date in an entirely new way (not from the list in your head, but by embodying the healthy balance of receptivity and discernment), you’ll want to join us for our brand new program, VETTED: A 7-Week Master-Course In the Art of Choosing a Man Well.Join us here. https://claudia-lucida.thrivecart.com/vetted/