Ajahn Sona Virtual Metta Retreat (3) - Skills for Sanity
Dec 25, 2020
Gentleness and right speech are compared, with guidance on when directness is appropriate. Practical rules for correcting others kindly and choosing the right timing are explored. Openness to correction and self-review before speaking are emphasized. Loving kindness is presented as a practical social skill, including ways to transform anger into sympathy and respond calmly to unfair criticism.
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Give Corrections With Loving Kindness
- Speak corrections from a heart of loving kindness rather than anger or judgment.
- Check timing, place, and whether the person is tired or hurried before offering a correction to maximize receptivity.
Self-Check Before You Correct Others
- Before correcting others, inspect whether you share the same fault and whether your statement matches the facts.
- If someone corrects you mistakenly, respond calmly with a fact-based clarification rather than insult or defensiveness.
Loving Kindness Values Truth Over Being Right
- Loving kindness aims for truth, not for winning arguments or proving you're right.
- Even highly realized disciples can be wrong, so the value is learning, not ego victory.