The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne #78: Easing Sibling Tensions Pt 5 – Intervening in Sibling Disputes
Feb 25, 2020
A concise guide to stepping into sibling conflicts without taking over. Short strategies for asking if kids want help and staying calmly present. A simple three-step toolkit for constructive intervention. Tips on making interventions consistent so children build lasting problem-solving skills.
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A Three-Step Method From Experience
- Kim John Payne shares that he's used a three-step approach with his family and workshop groups for years.
- Parents reported it as a useful tool to add to their sibling-conflict toolkit.
Open With A Simple Question
- Ask children, "Do you need my help or are you sorting this out for yourselves?" to interrupt escalation and gain their attention.
- Stay nearby if they say they'll work it out so you can support without taking over if needed.
Make Them Explain A Plan
- If kids plan to resolve it themselves, ask them to explain their plan so they must problem-solve aloud.
- Help enact their plan (get another pair of scissors, etc.) rather than imposing a solution.