Ladies, We Need To Talk Choking during sex – can it ever be safe?
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May 29, 2023 Rachel, a woman in her late 40s, reflects on frequent unwanted choking attempts and boundary-setting. Jujun, in her late 20s, talks about discovering choking through porn and how her preferences evolved. Dr Debby Herbenick, a sexuality researcher, explains rising prevalence and health risks. The conversation covers consent gaps, porn’s influence, safety practices like rehearsal and signals, and how to reclaim autonomy.
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Choking Has Become Mainstream Among Young People
- Choking during sex has moved from niche BDSM into mainstream sexual behaviour among young people.
- Studies found 27% of women were choked in their most recent encounter and almost 60% of female college students experienced it overall, often by 17.
Jujun's First Choking Experience Came From Porn
- Jujun learned about choking from porn and her first experience occurred when a tipsy partner put his hand on her neck without asking.
- She felt excited and later realised she enjoyed surrendering control, though consent wasn't sought first.
Younger People See Choking As Part Of Rough Sex
- Young adults define rough sex to commonly include choking, smothering and slapping beyond older generations' ideas of roughness.
- Dr Debby Herbenick notes choking has increased the most among rough acts and is now frequent.