The Parenting Coach Podcast S09|13 - The Whole-Brain Child, Emotions and Parenting with Dr Dan Siegel
Nov 4, 2024
Dr Dan Siegel, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and Mindsight Institute director, shares brain-based parenting ideas. He discusses left vs right brain connection, the hand model to visualize regulation, naming emotions to create space, mirror neurons and emotional sponging, and how to support teens’ drives while building the upstairs brain.
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Connect Before You Redirect
- Tune into the hemisphere that's active before trying to reason with your child; connect first with right-brain signals, then redirect with left-brain logic.
- Use nonverbal cues (eye contact, tone, facial expression) to match a child's right-hemisphere state before giving explanations.
Attune Then Enforce Bedtime Limits
- When a child resists bedtime, attune to their feelings first then set the limit clearly and calmly.
- Say empathic phrases (I know it's hard) while holding boundaries and physically guiding them back to bed.
Downstairs Brain Drives Core Needs
- The downstairs brain (brainstem/subcortical) drives core motivations: agency, bonding, and certainty (ABC).
- Frustration of these needs produces primal emotions—anger, sadness, and fear—that must be recognized as downstairs signals.
