Rena Malik, MD Podcast Why Couples Fight About Money… Then Stop Having Sex
Mar 20, 2026
Dr. Heather Howard, a financial and sex counselor who studies money, relationships, and sexual health. She explores how financial power imbalances, duty sex, and money histories erode desire. Practical topics include budgeting for clarity, joint vs separate accounts, rebuilding autonomy, and pain-friendly sex strategies like ergoerotics.
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Start A Safe Money Conversation
- Open a nonjudgmental money dialogue and ask your partner what keeps them up at night to rebuild financial agency and intimacy.
- Heather Howard recommends identifying what would let someone feel like a contributor (income, bill management, or clear budgeting) as the first step.
Map Your Finances To Reduce Stress
- Take a snapshot of your finances: income, spending, and basics of budgeting to reduce money-related stress quickly.
- Heather Howard frames budgeting as education and control, not restriction, to make decision paths visible and calming.
Money History Explains Money Behavior
- People's money histories shape spending quirks and conflict; understanding those histories creates empathy and reduces judgment.
- Howard uses couples' 'money histories' to translate seemingly illogical financial behavior into understandable patterns.