The Mating Grounds Podcast

Helping Joe, Episode 4

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Mar 5, 2015
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ADVICE

Use Silence As Presence

  • Use moments of silence as opportunities to observe the environment and be present.
  • Comment on what's happening around you instead of panicking and filling silence with shallow questions.
INSIGHT

You're Usually Seen Better Than You Think

  • People are generally awful at predicting how others see them, so self-perception often miscalibrates.
  • That miscalibration can be helpful when you're underconfident, because reality usually registers you more positively.
ADVICE

Raise Calibration, Don't Invent Yourself

  • 'Fake it till you make it' only helps if you actually have underlying competence to calibrate up to.
  • Aim to act a notch above your comfort level to reveal the confident version of yourself, not to become someone else.
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