The Genius Life 568: Why Dating Today Feels So Hard and How to Find Love That Lasts | Amy Chan
15 snips
Apr 20, 2026 
Amy Chan, dating coach and author of Unsingle, breaks down why modern dating feels broken and what small shifts help. She discusses social media’s distortion of romance, the five-stage dating funnel, why instant chemistry can mislead, and traits that predict lasting partnerships. Practical tips include evaluating compatibility, dealing with jealousy, and diversifying how you meet people.
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Every Relationship Has A Shit Bucket
- Every relationship has a 'shit bucket'—roughly 20% of annoying but tolerable traits.
- Pick partners whose bucket flavor you can accept; swapping to a different flavor simply trades annoyances.
Choose Conscientiousness Over Charm
- Prioritize conscientiousness when choosing a partner because it's the top predictor of relationship success.
- Look for reliability, follow-through, and awareness of how actions affect others as key signals.
Fix Jealousy By Treating The Root
- Address jealousy by treating symptoms and root causes separately; avoid controlling behaviors like phone policing.
- Chan suggests therapy for breached trust or personal work for past wounds rather than policing partners.
