Slate Culture Feed Death, Sex & Money - Not Wanting Kids Cost Me My Marriage
Feb 24, 2026
Helena DeGroote, audio producer and creator of CBC’s Creation Myth, shares a personal story about marriage, an unplanned pregnancy, abortion, and choosing not to have children. She recounts meeting her partner, their growing mismatches, the pregnancy that forced a decision, and how that choice ended their relationship. The conversation touches on social pressure, identity after moving countries, and life after divorce.
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Whirlwind Road Trip That Became A Marriage
- Helena met David on a museum visit and a week-long California road trip turned into a whirlwind marriage.
- His adventurous, risk-taking life (Antarctica, surfing, volcanoes) contrasted with her cautious, book-focused approach and reshaped her sense of possibility.
Feeling Like A Misplaced Plant In Marriage
- After moving to San Francisco, Helena felt uprooted and angry about the unequal cost of immigration in the marriage.
- She described herself as a plant in wrong soil while David felt at home, fueling resentment about who had sacrificed what.
Pregnancy Resistance Tied To Gendered Injustice
- Helena's resistance to motherhood intertwined with anger about gendered physical sacrifice and loss of autonomy.
- She framed pregnancy as an injustice since only women bear pregnancy, which fueled a long-standing rage against the expectation to give up herself.