426: The GAP and the GAIN with Dr. Benjamin Hardy

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Apr 20, 2022

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INSIGHT

Future Visions Can Undermine Happiness

Humans are driven by visions of the future, which create ideals guiding action.
Measuring current reality against moving ideals makes happiness an impossible battle.

INSIGHT

Two Ways To Measure Progress

The GAP is measuring reality against ideals; the GAIN is measuring reality against your past self.
Making your appraisal self-referential eliminates unhealthy competition and reclaims meaning of events.

ADVICE

Shift Measurement To Your Past Self

When you catch yourself in the gap, actively measure progress against your past self to enter the gain.
Turn setbacks into lessons you can act on so you regain agency instead of feeling like a victim.

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Most people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an "ideal," a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in "the GAP." However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in "the GAIN."

Today's guest, Dr. Benjamin Hardy, is one of my all-time favorite authors. In his new book, The GAP and the GAIN: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success, he delivers a masterclass on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. He explores why unsuccessful, unhappy people focus on "the GAP," but successful, happy people focus on "the GAIN."

In this conversation, Benjamin makes his third appearance on the podcast to talk about how to stop focusing on the GAP and turn your biggest hurdles into massive gains, and what you can do to stay in the GAIN each and every day.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Why associating our emotional well-being with targets that are out of reach sets us up to be chronically unhappy.
Why you don't need to make millions of dollars to be in the GAIN.
How to reframe a situation to shift your focus and emphasize the positive.
Why focusing on the GAIN is not the same thing as dismissing pain or disappointment.
Why we're always moving beyond our former selves–and life as a whole takes on whatever meaning you give to it.
And much more…

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