Influence & Impact for Leaders Ep 148 - Breaking Free from the Yes Trap
Nov 13, 2023
A deep dive into why leaders keep saying yes when they want to say no and the social pressures that drive it. Practical tactics like holding phrases, a yes/no checklist, and scripts for declining senior requests are covered. The conversation tackles unfair office housework, rotating non-promotable tasks, and strategies to protect time and priorities. Personal reflection on spotting type 1 diabetes symptoms is also shared.
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Use Holding Phrases To Avoid Immediate Yes
- Use a neutral holding phrase instead of an immediate yes or no to buy time and manage expectations.
- Example: say "I'll review priorities and come back in a couple of days" so others may find an alternative or you can assess capacity.
Being Liked Is Not The Same As Agreeing To Everything
- Wanting to be liked often drives people to say yes even when it's detrimental to their priorities.
- Carla explains likability is about general presence (listening, care, sound decisions) not agreeing to every request.
Make A Yes/No Checklist For Requests
- Create a checklist of criteria to decide when to accept requests so you don't rely on momentary people-pleasing impulses.
- Include items like profile building, skill growth, time required, and clear benefit to you or the business.
