Connect2 Building a Marriage that Communicates Better
Mar 4, 2026
Harriet Chung, longtime student-care worker and wife, and Peter Chung, seasoned wealth manager and husband, reflect on 40 years of marriage. They recount turbulent early years, talk about mentoring and parenting clashes. They highlight timing conversations, using timeouts, avoiding accusatory language, and building shared dreams.
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First Seven Years Tested by Childcare Conflicts
- Peter and Harriet's first seven years were filled with repeated, intense conflicts over child care and discipline.
- They sought a mentor who guided them to meet, present differences calmly, and create agreed routines like observing a sick child for a day before seeing a doctor.
Complain About Issues Not People
- Avoid criticizing the person and instead complain about the issue to keep conversations focused and safe.
- Harriet explains that complaining talks about the problem while criticizing shifts blame and attacks character, so choose words intentionally.
Upbringing Explains Conflict Styles
- Differences often mirror each partner's childhood and upbringing, explaining conflict triggers.
- Peter grew up spoilt in an absent-father home while Harriet grew up independent after early loss, which made their default reactions clash.