Three Percent

A Deep-Rooted Marriage with Dan Allender

4 snips
Mar 24, 2025
Dan Allender, therapist and author of Deep Rooted Marriage, draws on decades of work in trauma and relationships. He discusses vulnerability and holistic masculinity. He explores how family of origin and trauma shape marriage. He highlights deep friendships, kindness, and emotional intimacy as paths toward healing and lasting connection.
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ANECDOTE

Ping-Pong Win And The Baked Potato Fight

  • Dan recounts beating his six-year-old grandson in ping pong before the interview.
  • He uses a baked-potato argument with Becky to show how small conflicts reveal deeper patterns.
INSIGHT

Enter Brokenness To Become Whole

  • Wholeness requires entering your brokenness rather than hiding from it.
  • Curiosity about why you become defensive reveals the structures protecting you from fear.
ADVICE

Choose Friends Who Stay In The Pit

  • Find friendships that will stay with you in your pit and not flee when you reveal dark things.
  • Seek people who are simultaneously with you, for you, and against parts of you that harm you.
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