When I first started coaching I was introduced to the idea of:
Meeting the client where they are.
This idea being both a cornerstone of coaching,
And a practice that involves attuning to the person in front of you in such a way that opens up a possibility of working with them wherever they are in their development or growth journey.
While it may sound simple enough, there is a profound depth and precision to meeting someone in this way.
In part this is because whether it’s a client, a friend, a colleague, a partner, a child, a parent, etc
There are a myriad of factors that can influence where they are on their path:
- The conversation you've been engaged in with them to that point
- What is arising in them in the moment (thoughts, feelings, sensations)
- What is arising in you
- What is arising in the relationship
- Their past experiences
- Your perceptions, beliefs, biases
The list goes on...
And this practice of attunement is one of the things that today's guest, renowned therapist Dr. Jacob Ham does exceptionally well which you'll hear in, and throughout, our conversation as we dive into a deep exploration of growth, curiosity, love, and the art of living in the present moment.
Dr. Ham is the Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience and Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai.
Equal part therapist, speaker, trainer, program developer, Dr. Ham applies an open-hearted, empathic approach to all aspects of his work, ensuring that the needs of patients, audiences, and trainees are prioritized and met in the most meaningful ways. He specializes in using authentic relationships to self and others as paths to healing in trauma and other forms of mental suffering including the self-harm of fear, doubt, loathing and despair. To learn more please visit drjacobham.com
In today’s conversation:
- Dr. Ham's story about how he came to work in the way he does - including his general disillusionment with a lot of traditional approaches and paradigms in therapeutic treatment.
- What is this moment calling for? The role of this question in his work. And how an expertise in trauma and a deep contemplative practice inform his ability to skillfully offer what is needed.
- The wisdom that can be found in contraction, closing off, and shutting down.
- Practices for significantly improving communication in relationships.
- How to work with anger in more skillful ways when it arises
- Asking for what you need in relationship and why he thinks this isn’t always such a beneficial practice
- The possibility of responding to hate with love
- Learning to not be so afraid of the pain that comes with growth
- The practice of surrender and embracing the growth process
- And the role loving awareness plays in growth, healing, and his work as a therapist
Of all the interviews we've released on the show I found this to be one of the most moving and profound. It is such an honor to be able to shine a light on the incredible work Dr. Ham is doing in the world. I hope you enjoy the time with him as much as I did.
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