Holy Shift #23 - Honesty, inclusion, and self acceptance with Emily Arnold (Saddleback Church, The Speaker Lab)
Jun 4, 2025
Emily Arnold, former Saddleback ministry leader and current community manager at The Speaker Lab, shares her journey from worship leading to building online community. She discusses translating ministry skills to new careers. She talks about identity shifts, ethical tensions in church roles, and finding relief and belonging after leaving ministry.
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Guilt From Feeling Bored At Worship Nights
- Emily often felt bored or anxious during high-emotion worship events but then guilty for not feeling moved.
- She described religious OCD: restless attendance where lack of a 'word from God' triggered self-evaluation about faith.
Paid Church Roles Shape Identity Faster
- Holding a paid church role accelerates identity formation because the institution supplies role, purpose, and community.
- Collin and Emily noted young leaders often adopt that identity quickly and feel disoriented when removed from it.
Dissonance Over LGBTQ Students Fueled Leaving
- Tension over how to love LGBTQ students and institutional policies built into a growing list of concerns that led Emily toward leaving Saddleback.
- She described resenting not being able to love students 'in the way that feels right' and deciding she wouldn't attend if she weren't staff.