The Verywell Mind Podcast 138 - Does Indecisiveness Mean You’re Not Ready for Change? We Ask Dr. William Miller
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Jan 24, 2022 Dr. William Miller discusses ambivalence, setbacks, and strategies for change. He emphasizes the importance of understanding conflicting feelings, handling mistakes, and guiding individuals through resistance to change. The podcast explores the need for substitutes in breaking habits and offers tips for navigating setbacks and self-improvement.
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Let People Voice Their Own Reasons For Change
- Avoid arguing for change with someone or lecturing them because they will likely voice the opposite side and talk themselves out of change.
- Instead, prompt the person to voice their own reasons for change so they believe them more than your arguments.
Resist The Righting Reflex And Elicit Plans
- Helpers should restrain the 'righting reflex'—the urge to fix problems immediately—and instead elicit the person's own plan.
- Offering solutions too soon evokes the person's counterarguments and undermines motivation.
Ask Curiosity Questions Not Give Advice
- Use open curiosity questions: ask why they would want to change, the top reasons, and how they'd succeed rather than telling them what to do.
- Use a 0–10 importance ruler and ask why they're at that number to elicit their motivations.