Do you really know? Is it possible to not love your parents?
Feb 20, 2026
A brief look at why some children never form secure attachments when parents are critical or distant. Discussion of emotional self-protection and how withdrawing affection can be a defense. Exploration of adolescence, shifting parental bonds, and why quality of care matters more than quantity. Short, incisive reflections on how parental love can change over time.
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Attachment Can Fail As A Protective Defence
- Some children don't form attachment because parents are critical, distant, or unempathetic.
- Psychologist Renaud Perroné says this lack of attachment can be a protective defence, not shameful.
Withdrawing Love Can Be A Conscious Choice
- People can choose to withdraw love when they recognise parental affection was conditional or absent.
- Neuropsychiatrist Boris Cyrulnik's work shows children can adapt despite unloving environments.
Teenage Dip In Affection Is Normal
- Affection for parents commonly dips during adolescence as part of individuation.
- Stanford research shows teen brains find a mother's voice less rewarding, shifting attention to peers.
