Hello From The Magic Tavern Season 5, Ep 87 - Talking Crossbow Now (w/ Colton Dunn)
Feb 9, 2026
DeMonte the Talking Crossbow, voiced by Colton Dunn, is a comedic crossbow-turned-entrepreneur launching a bizarre juice company. The conversation hops from naming brainstorms and coffin-based marketing to romantic misfires, wizard hijinks, and absurd business perks. Expect rapid-fire jokes, surreal pitches, and playful chaos.
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
Sudden Crossbow Transformation
- DeMonte recounts waking up one morning to find all his human parts gone and himself fully a crossbow again.
- He rushed to work and never found the missing parts later that night.
Name Your Brand From Your Strengths
- Usador and Arnie brainstorm brand ideas that tie DeMonte's identity to product names like "Bolt of Juice."
- They also suggest building a lifestyle around the product, such as CrossFit-style meetups and events.
The Tiny Zoo That Died
- DeMonte conjures a tiny zoo, then Usador accidentally dries it up and kills it for comedic effect.
- The hosts riff about responsibility and DeMonte's inability to care for conjured animals.