The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne #39: A Child Who Lacks Confidence and What To Do About It
Apr 16, 2019
The discussion opens with strategies to support children lacking confidence. It highlights how self-assurance can fluctuate during various developmental stages. The host emphasizes the importance of connecting with children and advising them rather than over-reassuring. Simplifying routines and allowing for downtime can help mitigate anxiety. Practical tips include creating small, manageable plans to enhance social interactions. A strengths-based approach is encouraged, focusing on kids' competencies while reinforcing their sense of belonging.
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Question From A Concerned Dad
- A dad at a workshop asked Kim John Payne about helping a child with low confidence.
- Kim reflected on the question while flying home and sketched core ideas for parents.
Confidence Changes With Development
- Confidence naturally waxes and wanes across developmental phases like ages five-six, nine, and mid-teens.
- Many behaviours such as defiance can be signs of underlying low confidence rather than mere disobedience.
Moor Your Canoe Beside Theirs
- Moor alongside your child: offer steady presence rather than empty praise.
- Use gestures of support so the child feels buoyed and not alone.