'Isn't my spiritual well-being completely irrelevant?' Listener question

[Question abridged so that we can focus on the principles involved rather than the content of the experience. ]

I understand that you are very clear about spiritual bypassing. That’s why I have a question.

Can there be a difference between spiritual well-being and effectively helping people?

[explanation of situation] 

I was neither free of resentment, nor was I in a clear, calm mind when I acted.  It was urgent, I acted, I got what I wanted and that’s peace for the people who live there under my watch.

When I listened to your episode on Ausschwitz I took away, how we should really always start with ourselves, which makes total sense. I can see my resentment towards this family- they also threatened to kill me but it somehow was a warm goodbye in the end. “They” are beautiful people. I can see that. But it was irrelevant for the solution.

Isn’t my spiritual well-being completely irrelevant? What role does spirituality have in situations like this? Is spiritual advice even needed?