Episode 13 - Queering IFS - Access Fatigue

In this episode, Jude and Alessio explore the concept of access fatigue, the exhaustion that comes from repeatedly having to ask for, explain, or negotiate your needs in spaces that were not designed with you in mind.

They discuss how access fatigue shows up across many lived experiences, including being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, queer in heteronormative spaces, or disabled in ableist systems. Even when accommodations exist, the ongoing effort of requesting them, organising them, and navigating how those requests are received can still be deeply draining.

Drawing on their work as Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapists, Jude and Alessio reflect on how access fatigue appears in therapy spaces, professional training, and everyday life. They explore the emotional risk involved in asking for support, the invisible labour carried by protective parts, and how therapy is never fully separate from the social systems we live within.

The conversation also highlights the small but meaningful ways access fatigue can be reduced. When someone remembers your needs, asks about access in advance, or actively considers inclusion and accessibility, it can significantly reduce the burden many people carry just to participate.

Rather than placing blame, this episode invites a shift toward shared responsibility and greater awareness of the often unseen labour marginalised people do to navigate everyday environments.

Key moments

00:05 Introduction
03:25 What is access fatigue?
05:50 Origin of the term
12:40 Access fatigue in therapy training
15:00 The “access tightrope” of asking or staying silent
20:45 Access in the therapy room
24:00 When the outside world has not changed
27:40 Closing reflections and looking ahead

Disclaimer

This podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.

While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It’s for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.

Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.

Guest opinions are their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the hosts.

Contacts

Jude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) with the IFS Institute – ⁠www.anchoredinself.co.uk⁠

Alessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) – www.therapywithalessio.com

Sound editing by Forbes Coleman