161 | Disaster Zone Dominant: Scott’s Sex Stories

Scott (34 bisexual cis m sadistic Dominant working in special operations and emergency medicine and is partnered in an ethically non-monogamous relationship) has a wife who has a girlfriend, his girlfriend has a husband, and that husband also has a partner—and he is a medical provider in disaster zones and a Gentleman Dom whose sexual origins include cuddle pile group sex and parents who taught him about consent, sex for pleasure, and the fact that *everything* we see on TV is edited story, including porn — which was described to him as a “sex movie.” Scott’s Sex Life has been a process of researching and exploring what he likes with enthusiastic partners he wants to feel good. He talks about what it’s like to grow side by side in a 15-year relationship (10 married) with his partner who is the love of his life, what it’s like to bring kink into their relationship, and his kinky origins with a longest-friend, former girlfriend, sometimes sex friend, sometimes threesome parter with him and his primary! He shares beautiful examples of consent and safer sex conversations, talks about how he understands power and safety dynamics, tells a story about how he was a speaker at a kink conference and delivered some intense pain for a demonstration—with no residual harm (the hotness of a Dom who is a medical provider!), talks about giving and receiving butt stuff, how he’s learned about himself and feelings through partnership and ongoing therapy to address PTSD encountered in his work, and gives us a peek into how vital a role sex plays for people who are in disaster situations — whether one is deployed or is a displaced disaster victim. We talk aftercare, anal, BDSM, shibari, Dom drop, James Bond “not always being nice” about sex, queer community, coming out to his parents as bi, how empowering choosing neurochemical dumps can be, coming out to his parents as bi, and more. This is a great episode to listen to for those who are new to kink and BDSM and are looking for great safety and emotional frameworks.

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