18Forty Podcast Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]
Dec 13, 2022
01:47:14
Power, Control, Fear Define Abuse
- Shana Frydman defines intimate partner violence as a pattern of power, control, and fear rather than only physical acts.
- Physical violence typically appears later; early forms are emotional, financial, and isolating control.
Watch Nonphysical Red Flags Closely
- Watch for isolation, demeaning language, extreme jealousy, stalking, and financial control as nonphysical red flags.
- Trust your gut; if you feel constrained or fearful, seek help and name the behavior.
Dating Structure Shapes Risk Visibility
- Shorter courtship or scripted engagements can hide red flags because partners have less time to reveal controlling patterns.
- Community dating practices affect detection opportunities and risk assessment.
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Introduction
00:00 • 4min
1840
04:22 • 4min
I Partner With Shalom Taskers
08:37 • 3min
Women and Domestic Abuse
11:30 • 2min
What Are the Red Flags of the Hotline?
13:17 • 3min
You Sat Me Down in Your Kitchen
15:52 • 2min
Is High School the Worst Training Ground for Healthy Relationships?
18:07 • 3min
You Have the Kohah Hadibur
20:47 • 3min
How Do You Teach Your Children to Trust Their Intuition?
23:41 • 2min
Do You Have a Child Who Trusts Their Intuition?
25:36 • 2min
Shalom Task Force - Is There a Mentor?
27:39 • 2min
Is There a Tough Balance in Parenting?
29:17 • 2min
Premarital Counseling
30:47 • 2min
The First Senior Vice President Female Among the First Females
32:29 • 3min
How Do You Tell a Story When You're Talking About You?
35:36 • 4min
Is This Relationship a Slow Creep?
39:16 • 4min
Marriage Therapy and the Dangers It Provided
43:00 • 5min
I Don't Know if I'm Going to Get Custody of My Children or Not but I'll Get the Minimum Child Support
47:46 • 1min
Is Your Lawyer's Advice Worth the Life of Your Children?
49:04 • 2min
Get Divorced From Your Spouse
50:52 • 4min
Shalom Task Force Executive Director Shana Fried Men
55:11 • 2min
How to Prevent Abuse in a Relationship
57:14 • 2min
Domestic Violence Intimate Partner Abuse
59:01 • 2min
Domestic Violence Intimate Partner Violence
01:01:22 • 4min
Are There Unique Triggers of Abusive Domestic Violence Within the Jewish Community?
01:05:15 • 6min
Do You Know the Number of Your Hotline Power?
01:10:56 • 2min
Are You Afraid to Dissolve a Relationship?
01:12:38 • 2min
Couples Counseling
01:14:36 • 5min
What Is a Healthy Relationship?
01:20:02 • 4min
Do You Have a Conversation About Your Personal Boundaries?
01:23:51 • 3min
Domestic Violence Hotline - Is That a Euphemism for Therapy?
01:26:47 • 4min
Is There a Starting Point That You Would Tell People When They Are Dating?
01:30:34 • 6min
What Books Would You Like to Read About Healthy Relationships?
01:36:11 • 5min
How to Negotiate Religious Discrimination Within a Marriage
01:40:50 • 4min
1840 - The Ultimate Source of Strength
01:44:46 • 2min
This episode is sponsored by Esther & Jerry Williams in honor of all those who support Shalom Task Force.
If you are in crisis please reach out to the Shalom Task Force Hotline at 888-883-2323.
On this episode of 18Forty, we have a deeply moving conversation on the topic of red flags in relationships. We speak with Esther Williams and Dr. Shoshannah Frydman from Shalom Task Force, and one person who extricated herself from an abusive relationship. The dynamics of relationships, whether healthy, unhealthy, or anywhere in between are complex, and we set out to better our understanding of the signs of relational abuse. Whether or not you have personally struggled with the issues we discuss here, we are all better off when we are more informed about the what and why of relational health, so tune in now.
In this interview, we discuss:
- What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
- How can we foster understanding and awareness of the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics from an earlier age?
- What are the steps one can take to extricate themself or heal from a challenging relationship?
First interview starts at 10:35
The Shalom Task Force, Inc (STF) is a non-profit community organization that aims to combat and prevent domestic violence and foster safe and healthy relationships and families. The STF focuses on helping those in the Jewish community that may not have access to traditional services and that need culturally sensitive programming. The STF runs a free, anonymous hotline that helps individuals find the services they need, provides assistance through legal services, supportive counseling, and referral information, and offers prevention and psychoeducational workshops, trainings, and community programs to increase awareness of relationship abuse and promote healthy relationships.
Dr. Shoshannah Frydman, PhD, LCSW is the executive director of Shalom Task Force. Dr. Frydman is a trauma-informed therapist and advocate who has worked in the field of domestic abuse and family violence in the Jewish community for close to 20 years. Dr. Frydman co-chairs the UJA Taskforce on Family Violence, and was recently appointed to the New York City Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence COVID-19 Response Group. Dr. Frydman previously served as the managing director of Family Violence and Social Services at the Met Council. Dr. Frydman received her MSW from the University of Maryland School of Social Work and her PhD at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York/Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.
Esther Williams is the President of the Shalom Task Force and a past board member and executive vice president of the Orthodox Union.
References:
Shalom Task Force
“Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001” on 30 Rock
18Forty – Teshuva Series
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
The Patient
“The Quick Shift: Orthodox Jewish Women's Early Marital Sexual Experience” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
“Tradition and Transition. Orthodox Women's Experience with Kallah Classes and Early Marital Intimacy” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
The Vow
The Greatest Average American by Nate Bargatze
This Is Us
The NCSY box
Shalom Task Force Guides and Educational Materials
I'm so Confused, Am I Being Abused? Guidance for the Orthodox Jewish Spouse and Those Who Want to Help by Lisa G. Twersky
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship by Lisa A. Fontes
No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.
If you are in crisis please reach out to the Shalom Task Force Hotline at 888-883-2323.
On this episode of 18Forty, we have a deeply moving conversation on the topic of red flags in relationships. We speak with Esther Williams and Dr. Shoshannah Frydman from Shalom Task Force, and one person who extricated herself from an abusive relationship. The dynamics of relationships, whether healthy, unhealthy, or anywhere in between are complex, and we set out to better our understanding of the signs of relational abuse. Whether or not you have personally struggled with the issues we discuss here, we are all better off when we are more informed about the what and why of relational health, so tune in now.
In this interview, we discuss:
- What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
- How can we foster understanding and awareness of the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics from an earlier age?
- What are the steps one can take to extricate themself or heal from a challenging relationship?
First interview starts at 10:35
The Shalom Task Force, Inc (STF) is a non-profit community organization that aims to combat and prevent domestic violence and foster safe and healthy relationships and families. The STF focuses on helping those in the Jewish community that may not have access to traditional services and that need culturally sensitive programming. The STF runs a free, anonymous hotline that helps individuals find the services they need, provides assistance through legal services, supportive counseling, and referral information, and offers prevention and psychoeducational workshops, trainings, and community programs to increase awareness of relationship abuse and promote healthy relationships.
Dr. Shoshannah Frydman, PhD, LCSW is the executive director of Shalom Task Force. Dr. Frydman is a trauma-informed therapist and advocate who has worked in the field of domestic abuse and family violence in the Jewish community for close to 20 years. Dr. Frydman co-chairs the UJA Taskforce on Family Violence, and was recently appointed to the New York City Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence COVID-19 Response Group. Dr. Frydman previously served as the managing director of Family Violence and Social Services at the Met Council. Dr. Frydman received her MSW from the University of Maryland School of Social Work and her PhD at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York/Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.
Esther Williams is the President of the Shalom Task Force and a past board member and executive vice president of the Orthodox Union.
References:
Shalom Task Force
“Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001” on 30 Rock
18Forty – Teshuva Series
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
The Patient
“The Quick Shift: Orthodox Jewish Women's Early Marital Sexual Experience” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
“Tradition and Transition. Orthodox Women's Experience with Kallah Classes and Early Marital Intimacy” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
The Vow
The Greatest Average American by Nate Bargatze
This Is Us
The NCSY box
Shalom Task Force Guides and Educational Materials
I'm so Confused, Am I Being Abused? Guidance for the Orthodox Jewish Spouse and Those Who Want to Help by Lisa G. Twersky
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship by Lisa A. Fontes
No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.