Honeydew Me 254. Honey Archive: "HELP! The Sex Is Bad..."
In this week’s Honey Archive episode we’re answering one of YOUR questions with a mix of expert insight, personal experience, and a very real conversation about what to do when the sex in your relationship just isn’t clicking. If you’ve ever loved someone but felt disconnected in the bedroom, this one’s for you.
The Question:
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now, and the sex… it’s just not great. It’s not that we don’t like each other, but it just feels off. I want to be honest, I just don’t know how to approach it, so please HELP!”
We cover:
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Questions to ask yourself first. How to figure out whether the issue is chemistry, communication, expectations, or simply not knowing what you actually want yet.
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Expert tips for talking about sex with a partner. Ways to start the conversation without triggering shame, defensiveness, or pressure so it feels collaborative instead of critical.
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How to give honest feedback without being harsh. Why tone, timing, and framing matter and how to express your needs in a way that builds connection instead of distance.
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What giving feedback in the moment can look like. Small language shifts that help guide your partner without turning sex into a performance review.
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Why being “bad at sex” is more normal than you think. How most people never receive real sex education and why awkwardness is part of learning, not a sign of incompatibility.
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The difference between skill issues and deeper mismatches. How to tell when something can grow with communication versus when values, desire, or attraction might not align.
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Permission to outgrow sexual dynamics that don’t feel good. Why it is okay to want more pleasure, more effort, or a different kind of connection.
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When it might be time to leave. A grounded conversation about recognizing when the sexual disconnect reflects a bigger relationship issue and giving yourself permission to choose what feels right for you.
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