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Fixing The Avoidant Man Part 2

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Nov 29, 2024

Guest

Andrey Korikov

Andrey Korikov, CEO and co-founder of Veritas Creative Media who rebuilt his life after avoidant attachment and childhood trauma. He explores trust scoring, why work skills fail at home, and small habits that create closeness. Conversations include asking for help, practical status reports, and stepwise vulnerability to remake relationships.

01:42:57

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Episode notes

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ADVICE

Ask For Help Only Where They Add Value

When a partner lacks skill in an area, don't expect them to be everything; chisel roles and ask for selective help instead.
Andrey and Adam illustrate matching tasks to people's strengths (finance vs. spiritual advice).

insights

INSIGHT

You Can't Replace Bonding With Provision

Adam distinguishes dopamine fixes from oxytocin and vasopressin bonding, explaining avoidant men may provide resources but miss bonding opportunities.
He warns vasopressin bonding predicts relationship longevity and is lost when men constantly solve problems alone.

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ADVICE

Ask Your Partner If She Wants To Care For You

Do a direct conversation: ask your partner whether she wants to care for you more and whether your holding back makes her sad.
Adam prescribes this to open opportunities for oxytocin and vasopressin bonding instead of shutting her out.

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Defining the Avoidant Man's Holy Grail

00:19 • 3min

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Skills for Work Versus Home

03:17 • 1min

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Homework: Trust Scoring Exercise

04:31 • 5min

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Why Trust Starts High or Low

10:01 • 2min

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Expectations Versus Reality in Partnership

11:48 • 2min

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Where Andrey Trusts People Selectively

14:00 • 4min

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Tapping Others While Holding Responsibility

18:01 • 2min

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Why Emotional Presence Beats Dopamine

20:09 • 3min

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Is Andrey Protecting or Restricting Loved Ones?

23:10 • 3min

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Allowing a Partner to Care

26:00 • 3min

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Small Acts Build Vasopressin Bonding

28:40 • 4min

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Hypocrisy: Wanting Others To Share But Withholding

32:58 • 6min

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Practical Habit: Status Reports

39:11 • 8min

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When Not Sharing Hurts Relationships

47:28 • 3min

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Creating Accountability Circles

50:57 • 5min

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How Much Sharing Is Too Much?

55:50 • 4min

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Control, Care, and Making Choices For Others

59:53 • 4min

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Context: Childhood Survival Shapes Attachment

01:04:05 • 10min

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Breaking Free From the Ghost of Collapse

01:14:35 • 5min

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Can You Really Let People In?

01:19:49 • 7min

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Start Small: Conversations as Training

01:27:09 • 3min

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Pain as a Signal to Act

01:30:12 • 1min

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Testing Vulnerability: Asking For A Hug

01:31:21 • 60sec

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Next Steps: Homework And Conversations

🎙️ In this emotionally charged episode of "I Wish You Knew," Adam Lane Smith, the attachment specialist, and Andrey Korikov, a high-achieving CEO and co-founder of Veritas Creative Media, dive deeper into the journey of overcoming avoidant attachment and breaking free from past traumas. Andrey opens up like never before, reflecting on the ghosts of his past, the challenges of building trust, and the small but significant steps he's taking to reclaim connection and intimacy in his relationships.

From confronting the pain of childhood in post-Soviet Russia to navigating the complexities of trust with loved ones, this raw and unfiltered conversation is a powerful exploration of healing, growth, and the path to creating secure relationships. Adam offers insights, challenges Andrey's perspectives, and provides actionable steps for anyone struggling with attachment issues or relationship barriers.

✨ What You’ll Discover in This Episode ✨

👉 The internal battles faced by avoidant individuals, such as fear of intimacy, difficulty expressing emotions, and the pain of feeling misunderstood.

👉 Why childhood coping mechanisms can block healthy relationships today—and how to move past them.

👉 Practical steps to open up and see vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness.

👉 Why meaningful relationships are crucial for breaking avoidant patterns.

👉 Actionable advice and techniques for rewiring the brain to embrace emotional closeness and create a secure foundation for future relationships.

Whether you’re working through your own attachment challenges or seeking to better understand the dynamics of avoidant behavior, this episode is packed with relatable stories, transformative lessons, and a reminder that healing happens one conversation at a time. 🎧

If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode where The Attachment Specialist Helps Avoidant Man Face Trust Issues LIVE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfPgVg08E-E

A special thanks to our sponsor Rugged Legacy Grooming Supply.

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Want to become one of the 2% of content creators who make over a million dollars a year? Veritas Creative Academy offers exclusive access to resources from industry experts. Master the latest trends, learn proven strategies that work, finally hit the 7-figure mark, and become internationally recognized and celebrated: https://veritascreative.media/creator-academy/

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

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