BACH UNCUT - The Kinky Captain gets his Queen

Goodness gracious me it’s the final week of Bach Uncut! Jimmy’s already clocked off for the season so he’s making the last three remaining girls organise their own dates. Holly clearly snagged the entire remaining budget and she picks Jimmy up in a pimping two-story boat. They talk about what life would be like after the show and even though Jimmy admits he’ll work so much that he’ll only be around 2 weeks of the year, Holly doesn’t care because she admits she’s fallen in love with him. Whaaaat, love bombs already and it’s not even the finale !? Jimmy replies by pushing her in the water because he loves to give her hyperthermia on their dates. Jay is up next and all she can afford is a leaking kayak in the harbour. They paddle around, listen to classical music (Jimmy hates it) and then he confronts her about the 83rd rumour he’s heard - Jay used to date the Bachelor New Zealand. It’s at this point we knew it was all over for Jay. Brooke is up next and she’s stolen a puppy to play with in the park. Just when you thought Brooke was all glitter and fairies, she throws Jimmy in a hot tub and girates him until Osher kicks them out.

Time for the finale and we’re all heading to Alice Springs to meet Jimmy’s family ! His mum, dad and sister are there and even his cousin.. Because we all know how invaluable dating advice is from your cousin (please explain Jimmy). Jimmy’s mum is team Holly and his dad is team Brooke and his sister is like.. just f*#king tell us who you’re going to pick already (the cousin literally doesn’t say a word). Brooke’s single date is very bloody adorable and she’s literally having the best time of her life as they enjoy a champagne sunrise in a hot air balloon. She’s so certain it’s going to be her at the end and oh god - our hearts are already breaking! Holly’s date is up next and they snag a cheap flight to Uluru but the only catch is that Jimmy’s parents paid for it so they’re coming along for the date (this actually kinda happened). The finale is as brutal as you can imagine but it’s not a total disaster because we’re gifted a beautiful love story with Holly and Jimmy, which makes it all worthwhile. WE LOVE LOVE !

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