This Jungian Life Podcast SHADOWLAND: DETRANSITION – THE STORY OF BETH
Passing Did Not Bring Identity Validation
- Passing as male to strangers brought no internal sense of identity alignment to Beth.
- She experienced a strong internal voice urging her to give up and acknowledge her femaleness.
Anxious Longing Drives Transition
- The part of Beth that pushed her to transition was driven by anxious longing to change and self-negate.
- She cycles through identities seeking new expressions, indicating an ongoing search for self.
Lack of External Checks Felt Risky
- Beth felt everyone around her readily accepted her transition plans without question, which was scary.
- She wishes a parental figure had intervened to pause her process, as she felt out of control.
Beth underwent gender transition from natal female to trans male and has since de-transitioned. In her early teens, Beth felt she was not like other women and began to question her gender. She saw people who were nonconforming, but although she adopted a non-binary identity in college, people still saw her as a woman. Beth became drawn to a masculine identity and associated transitioning gender with empowerment: she would be free from the perceived social constraints and physical vulnerabilities of womanhood. Beth’s parents, the therapist she saw a few times, and the surgeon all affirmed her desire to transition. Beth underwent testosterone therapy and top surgery to remove her breasts, sacrifices in service of liberation. In time, however, Beth discovered that physical changes did not transform her inner world, and her post-surgical chest remains numb. Beth says, “de-transitioning brought me down to earth” and into adulthood. She feels some of her urges to transition were healthy, and some were self-annihilating—and wishes she had had more help in differentiating her inner world from her gender expression. Beth hopes to be a voice for the complexity of gender transitioning.
Music and lyrics by Wells Hanley ©2021
Singers: Laura Ann Singh at www.lauraannsingh.com and Rei Alvarez at www.reialvarez.com
https://www.iwrotethissongforyou.com/
https://www.patreon.com/iwrotethissongforyou
NOTES:
Currently, there is limited research on the factors that correlate with detransition and the percentage of individuals who chose to detransition. Of the available studies, methods and definitions vary, suggesting a need to establish standardized criteria in the future. Five studies are mentioned below. One concludes, of 17,151 who identify as transgender and gender diverse people, 13.1% reported a history of detransition or going back to living as their sex assigned at birth. Another concludes that only 0.2-0.3% of patients expressed post-operative regret and requested reversal surgery. In another study, 6.9% of patients detransitioned. Additional research is necessary to understand these phenomena more fully.
Boyd, I.; Hackett, T.; Bewley, S. Care of Transgender Patients: A General Practice Quality Improvement Approach. Healthcare 2022, 10, 121. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare100 10121
Hall, R., Mitchell, L., & Sachdeva, J. (2021). Access to care and frequency of detransition among a cohort discharged by a UK national adult gender identity clinic: Retrospective case-note review. BJPsych Open, 7(6), E184. doi:10.1192/bjo.2021.1022
Littman L. Individuals Treated for Gender Dysphoria with Medical and/or Surgical Transition Who Subsequently Detransitioned: A Survey of 100 Detransitioners. Arch Sex Behav. 2021 Nov;50(8):3353-3369. doi: 10.1007/s10508-021-02163-w. Epub 2021 Oct 19. PMID: 34665380; PMCID: PMC8604821.
Narayan SK, Hontscharuk R, Danker S, Guerriero J, Carter A, Blasdel G, Bluebond-Langner R, Ettner R, Radix A, Schechter L, Berli JU. Guiding the conversation - types of regret after gender-affirming surgery and their associated etiologies. Ann Transl Med 2021;9(7):605. doi: 10.21037/atm-20-6204.
Turban JL, Loo SS, Almazan AN, Keuroghlian AS. Factors Leading to “Detransition” Among Transgender and Gender Diverse People in the United States: A Mixed-Methods Analysis. LGBT Health. 2021 May-Jun;8(4):273-280. doi: 10.1089/lgbt.2020.0437. Epub 2021 Mar 31. PMID: 33794108; PMCID: PMC8213007.
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