How To Have Crave-Worthy Sex (Even If You're Burnt Out, Busy, and Exhausted)

5 snips

Feb 4, 2026

Dr. Nicole McNichols, human sexuality professor and author of You Could Be Having Better Sex, breaks down why desire fades and practical ways to rekindle it. She covers intimacy dates, responsive versus spontaneous desire, the orgasm gap and communication fixes, micro novelty to keep attraction alive, and surprising anatomy tips like prostate location.

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ANECDOTE

Professor’s Personal Return To Desire

Nicole shares that teaching sex restored her own sexual desire after burnout and pregnancy.
She reclaimed entitlement and built intimacy dates to re-prioritize pleasure.

INSIGHT

Orgasm Expectation Drives Desire

The orgasm gap reduces women's anticipation for sex because orgasm expectancy predicts desire.
Improving orgasm frequency raises future desire and craving for sex.

ADVICE

Create An Intimacy Date

Schedule an "intimacy date" weekly to create relaxed time and nervous-system safety for sex without making it contractual.
Use the time to ask deeper questions and slow down rather than forcing sex on a schedule.

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A lot of us know the physical and mental benefits of sex, and yet so many of us are not having the amazing sex we want. So I wanted to know—why don't we crave sex even though we like it? And how can anyone, no matter how exhausted they are, or no matter how long they've been with their partner, regularly have the best sex?

I chat with Dr. Nicole McNichols, an internationally renowned human sexuality professor, whose course is the most popular in the history of the University of Washington, and she shares answers to all of my questions, plus gives genius solutions to all of your sex problems. She also tells us, surprisingly, where the male G-spot is (it’s probably not where you think it is).

🎧 What you’ll learn:

• How to combat why you don't want sex, even though you like it

• The orgasm gap and exactly how to close it with communication techniques that work

• What actually makes long-term partners hot for each other

• The intimacy date that will change everything

• The four types of intimacy in a relationship

• The truth about a successful female orgasm

• Where women’s and men’s “ G-spots” are

• The one small change to do a month to keep passion alive

If you liked this episode, check out these episodes of The Liz Moody Podcast:

• Your Trickiest & Most Embarrassing Sex Qs, Answered with Sex Educator, Emily Nagoski

• I Don’t Want to Have Sex With My Partner!” & Other Taboo Relationship Qs with Girls Gotta Eat

• 50% of People Cheat: The Real Reasons Why + What To Do Next with Dr. Tammy Nelson

For more from Dr. Nicole McNichols:

• Book, You Could Be Having Better Sex: https://nicolethesexprofessor.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_thesexprofessor/

• Website: https://nicolethesexprofessor.com/

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This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions.

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