22: Relational and Betrayal Trauma - Part Two

Marnie Breecker joined me for the second part of our discussion on relational and betrayal trauma. She walked us through the Six Dimensions of Relational and Betrayal Trauma as well as the steps in the process of partner healing.

Learn More About The Shame To Resilience Workshop

Is your relationship struggling to recover after betrayal? Have individual therapy, group sessions, or other recovery programs left you feeling stuck? My program, Shame to Resilience, is specifically designed to help men step up for their partners and support true healing. Having worked with hundreds of couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, I’ve found that shame is often the biggest obstacle to rebuilding trust and connection. This program addresses that barrier, guiding couples toward meaningful repair and growth. Learn more at the link below.

10-week Shame To Resilience Workshop For Men

The Six Dimensions are:

Shattered Inner World – In this dimension, four core beliefs (the world is safe and enjoyable; the world is fair and controllable; people are trustworthy; and the self is worthy and competent) are shaken by the trauma of betrayal. It’s been likened to losing everything in a house fire.

Life Crisis – The gap between belief and reality that forms after discovering the addiction can cause trauma symptoms, which we discussed with Marnie in Episode 21. This stage can involve figuring out who to tell and where to find help, arranging childcare, managing other shaken aspects of daily life, and facing uncertainty about whether the threat of betrayal is ongoing.

Existential Trauma – The partner loses faith in their ability to make decisions and questions their core beliefs. They may start to see the world with distrust and fear, and their relationship with themselves is damaged. This dimension can take the longest to heal.

Emotional Trauma – This includes patterns of emotional abuse (lying, deceiving, manipulating) used by the addict to hide their secret. Emotional trauma can be overt (rage, yelling) or covert (subtle attacks like blame or gaslighting that make the partner feel unstable).

Sexual Trauma – Neglecting to address the partner’s sexual trauma makes later restoration and healing more challenging, so it is crucial for their feelings to be validated and their responses to be normalized.

Relational Trauma – In this dimension, the addict must develop empathy and understand that relational healing requires significant time and patience.

Shame To Resilience Workshop

Is your relationship struggling to recover after betrayal? Have individual therapy, group sessions, or other recovery programs left you feeling stuck? My program, Shame to Resilience, is specifically designed to help men step up for their partners and support true healing. Having worked with hundreds of couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, I’ve found that shame is often the biggest obstacle to rebuilding trust and connection. This program addresses that barrier, guiding couples toward meaningful repair and growth. Learn more at the link below.

10-week Shame To Resilience Workshop For Men

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