Taking Back Her Brain from Defensive Listening

Remember when emotions are high, our intelligence is low. What that means is when emotions are high our primitive brain has been activated and our higher brain has LITERALLY been taken off line. So if we choose to immediately respond our response will not be using our higher brain and we may not show up the way we want to for ourselves or our partner. So I always believe in asking for processing time, and honoring someone else when they ask for processing time.

When we have and allow processing time we are giving both parties the time to CHOOSE how they want to respond and how they really want to show up for each other and for their higher self. When we practice feeling uncomfortable emotions while we hear what someone has to say about us or an experience they had with us, we are teaching our brain that its okay, and that we are going to be there for it no matter what, that we are not going to make judgemental statements back to ourselves, we are not going to go on the negative train ride, we are going to allow negative emotions without making it mean anything about us. Someone can have thoughts and feelings about us and we do not have to make it mean something morally wrong. We can take the pressure off.