"Come On, Man" Podcast Is Your Marriage Sexless? How to Turn Things Around (Even After Years)
Mar 30, 2026
They tackle long-term sexlessness in marriage and whether intimacy can be rebuilt after years. They examine stats, research quality, and how attraction timelines and self-improvement interact. Practical pathways are discussed, including a 12-week plan, mindset shifts like passive dread and frame, and when to reassess the relationship’s future.
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Dead Bedroom Often Escalates While Men Deny It
- Many men treat a sexless marriage as a phase while the reality often worsens over months, making the situation irreversible if ignored.
- Paul Bauer highlights that men commonly hope it will resolve but often realize too late after long stretches of celibacy.
Start Improving First Then Evaluate Progress
- Do the work (physique, finances, social, psychology) before evaluating whether the marriage can be saved; the 'clock' to judge recovery starts once you start improving.
- Bauer argues improvement must include mental frame and consistent action, not just passive waiting or blue-pill communication.
Attraction Scale Predicts Recoverability
- Attraction operates on a scale where below a certain threshold (around a 5) a partner usually has effectively 'made up her mind' and desire is very difficult to restore.
- Bauer calls this the attraction scale and says you must do real work to discover where her level sits.
