The secret life of a matchmaker—love, listening and telling the truth

Mar 27, 2026

Vinko Anthony, a matchmaker for gay men and author of All In, grew up in Dubrovnik learning deep listening from his Nonna. He recounts migration to Australia, falling in love across countries, keeping and revealing an HIV diagnosis, and how he builds a matchmaking practice focused on communication, curated monogamy, and lasting commitment.

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ANECDOTE

Nonna's Quiet Lessons In Listening

Vinko credits long, quiet walks and shared mealtimes with his Nonna for teaching him deep listening and mutual attention.
He describes walking hand in hand with her on the Adriatic, listening to birds, waves and wind, then sitting to really hear each other.

ANECDOTE

Two Homes Shaped His Sense Of Care

Vinko had two homes: a tense parental household and a nurturing Nonna's house where he felt seen and loved.
He recalls Nonna's disciplined routines, cooking for herself and setting the table even when alone, modeling dignity and care.

ANECDOTE

Naked Dancing Turned Into Thousands Of Emails

Vinko first saw Andrea dancing naked on a rock in Dubrovnik and felt an immediate physical impression despite both being in relationships.
They later maintained a prolific long-distance correspondence with 2,743 emails in three months.

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Together with his husband, Vinko Anthony runs a matchmaking agency for gay men looking for the type of enduring commitment and love that they found. As part of his role as matchmaker, Vinko shares what he's learnt about love and listening through the ups and downs of his own relationships.

Vinko grew up on the shores of the Adriatic Sea, where he spent a lot of his childhood with his Nonna.

The two of them would walk together for hours in silence, listening deeply to the birds, the waves and the wind.

Then, when they got home and sat down to eat, VInko and his Nonna would listen to each other.

Vinko took these lessons in listening and love very seriously, and he brought them with him when his family migrated to Australia and also into his vocation as a matchmaker.

When Vinko finally got the courage to tell the love of his life a secret he had been hiding for five years, he had to trust that all that love and listening would be gracefully given back to him.

Vinko has written a book about his love story and his matchmaking business. It's called All In: How to Make Love Stick.

Vinko and his husband, Andrea, co-founded a dating agency called Beau Brummell Introductions, for gay men in Australia, the US, the UK, Hong Kong, Singapore, and New Zealand.

This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris. Executive Producer is Nicola Harrison.

It explores dating, online dating, homosexuality, growing up gay, Croatia, Dubrovnik, Italy, Puglia, travel, STI, living with HIV, falling in love, relationship advice, dating agency, matchmaking, masculinity, affair, love, listening, how to date, finding true love, travel, business, falling in love, family, coming out, mardi gras, love at first sight, building a business with your partner, HIV/Aids, Prep, communicating in relationships, commitment, long-term relationships, how to communicate with your partner, reactivity, how to listen, accepting yourself, how to find love, dating apps, tinder, hinge, bumble, grindr, feeld.

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