
Negotiate Anything Three Steps to Regain Control When Emotions Take Over
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Mar 25, 2026 Jay Moon Fields, somatic coach and author who trains leaders to use embodied emotional intelligence. She explains why the nervous system causes freezing and people-pleasing. Short scenes show how body awareness reveals shutdowns. Jay presents the three-step Hey, Wait practice to pause, feel, and request consideration in high-stakes moments.
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Nervous System Prioritizes Safety Over Growth
- The nervous system's default is safety, not growth, so it resists intimacy and change.
- Jay Moon Fields explains that sensations like shallow breath or shutdown are survival responses telling you the situation feels unsafe.
Notice When You Have A Bad Experience Of Yourself
- Start by noticing moments when you had a bad experience of yourself to identify relational patterns.
- Ask: were you shrinking, puffing up, or staying quiet when you wanted to speak to reveal conditioning like people-pleasing.
People Pleasing Comes From Expecting No One Cares
- Many people operate from the unconscious belief that no one will care about their insides, causing chronic self-abandonment.
- Jay Moon Fields links this belief to repeated people-pleasing and the hope that giving yourself away will eventually be rewarded.
