Our Whole Childhood with Patrick Teahan Stop Fawning with Dr. Ingrid Clayton
Sep 9, 2025
Dr. Ingrid Clayton, a clinical psychologist and author, dives deep into the phenomenon of fawning, a complex trauma response often masked as people-pleasing. She discusses how power dynamics can perpetuate this behavior, reflecting on her personal experiences that led her to write her book on the topic. Ingrid touches on the effects of fawning in relationships, the importance of bodily autonomy, and strategies for reclaiming one's identity. The chat offers insights on recognizing fawning in therapy and highlights the path towards self-empowerment and healing.
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The Favorite Client Mask
- Ingrid and Patrick described clients who 'do therapy right' but still hide their fear of displeasing the therapist.
- Progress shows when those clients can push back and risk the relationship.
Therapists: Invite Honest Feedback
- Therapists should explicitly invite genuine reactions and normalize disagreement.
- Say it's okay to dislike an intervention or to say, 'Ingrid, fuck you,' so clients stop performing.
Fawning Is An Unconscious Survival Strategy
- Fawning is an unconscious, reflexive adaptation when fight, flight, or freeze aren't safe or possible.
- Over time it becomes normalized and mistaken for personality or kindness.
