Liberating Motherhood S3 Ep3: Kiki Bryant/The Uppity Negress: Labor Diggers
“Black men have been held accountable for things they didn’t do for so long, that we have forgotten how to hold them accountable for the things they do.” — Kiki Bryant
Men are stealing women’s lives by stealing their time. So why is it that we have widespread notions of women as spoiled, entitled gold diggers? The words we use matter. They focus our attention and make it easier (or harder) to speak about a topic.
This is a sweeping conversation that covers a lot of ground. Some of what we talk about:
How social media is using bans without any due process to suppress the voices of minority creators. Kiki lost her Facebook account, and we talk extensively about how many other writers this has happened to, drawing on research Kiki conducted. Social media has the power not just to silence people, but to remove everything they’ve ever previously said.
The importance of memory in constructing philosophical beliefs, and how social media bans undermine collective memory.
-
Kiki’s framework of labor diggers.
The economic impact of being the default parent.
Labor digging begins in childhood, and how gendered childhood norms set people up for miserable heterosexual relationships.
The effects of mass incarceration on Black relationships specifically, and how this ongoing trauma contributes both to lower Black marriage rates and to misogynoir.
The commonalities between Black manhood and white womanhood.
The unique challenges facing Black women leaving abusive Black men.
The pick-me feminist: the feminist who wants to talk about how she’s not like all the other feminists.
Competitive parenting, breastfeeding while Black, and the use of parenting culture to reinforce hierarchy.
About Kiki Bryant
Kiki Bryant, known online as the Uppity Negress, is a mother, writer, and sociopolitical critic located in Chicago, IL.
Follow her on Facebook here.
Check out her amazing Substack here.
Follow her on threads here.
Buy her books on her website, which also has other merch and a ton of great information.