Rejection and beliefs: follow up question to 4 November podcast

Just listened to the podcast about my question. I appreciate you answering it. It’s actually really crazy because you gave the example of a salesperson not feeling the rejection in the same way when it’s in that context but when it’s about a romantic relationship even the slightest hint of rejection is painful. Which is so true and interesting because I work in sales lol and I was thinking about this exact thing. That I can go all day and get rejected by prospect after prospect and while it can be mildly frustrating at times  it’s not that difficult to keep a cool head about it but with this situation with this girl I was recently seeing who seems to have lost all interest and completely stopped contacting me is producing this excessive pain and also even obsession about it all. So anyway. Definitely think that’s very insightful and the synchronicity is fascinating lol. 

Anyway near the end you mentioned that these kinds of reactions are revelatory about something being believed that isn’t true. How do you locate what that is?