Unlearning Autism

Becoming Who I Always Was with Andrea Anderson

Mar 4, 2026
Andrea Anderson, author and creative career coach who supports late‑discovered neurodivergent women, shares her journey of late recognition and self‑rediscovery. She talks about the messy emotions after discovery, the solace of finding community, how autistic friendships and communication differ, and the need for better awareness in health, education and motherhood.
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ANECDOTE

Discovery Through My Child's Experience

  • Andrea discovered her autism after recognising the same traits in her toddler and seeing his distress in noisy school settings.
  • She role-played social interactions with him and later saw his drawing of '20,000 voices' which triggered her own recognition and acceptance.
INSIGHT

Shame Is Central In Late Unravelling

  • Shame is the dominant emotion when unraveling a lifetime of masking, replaying embarrassing memories and blaming oneself.
  • Andrea describes acute memory replay and how untangling identity during COVID intensified isolation but also created space for journalling and reflection.
ADVICE

Give Yourself Time To Unravel

  • Allow yourself time and space to unravel privately before trying to explain it to others and avoid rushing to label every feeling immediately.
  • Andrea recommends reading, journalling and finding neurodivergent peers as supportive shortcuts to understanding.
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