Dare to forgive - it's the only path to freedom | with Lisa-Jo Baker

Bonjour! Stephanie here. I think today is the first time that I am welcoming an author on the show to talk about a memoir. I don't think I've ever done memoirs, but this one just gripped my heart. I just had to share it with you. I met Lisa-Jo Baker a few years ago at a friend's party. I was mesmerized by her story, her depth, her intelligence. She has serious brain power, but also kindness, thoughtfulness, and truly empathetic other-centeredness.

“It was not roaring, it was weeping” is the title of her memoir. It's an honest and lyrical, almost poetic coming of age memoir of growing up in South Africa at the height of apartheid. It's an invitation to confront or inherited traumas or prejudices.  It is also an invitation to forgive our parents, so that we won't repeat the same mistakes. It is an invitation to dig deep inside ourselves and nurture self-awareness, so that we understand what triggers us, so we can rewire our minds to stop repeating harmful patterns, both individually and communally. It is an invitation to cultivate forgiveness and grace as the only way forward as humanity, together.

When she found herself spiraling into a terrifying version of her father, screaming herself hoarse at her son, Lisa-Jo Baker realized that to go forward—to refuse to repeat the sins of our fathers—we must first go back. This is an unflinching look at a family that got it wrong and a real life example for all who feel worried they’re too off-course to make the necessary corrections. Lisa-Jo’s story shows that it’s never too late to be free.

Born white in the heart of Zululand during the height of apartheid, Lisa-Jo Baker longed to write a new future for her children—a longing that set her on a journey to understand where she fit into a story of violence and faith, history and race. Before marriage and motherhood, she came to the United States to study to become a human rights advocate. When she naively walked right into America’s own turbulent racial landscape, she experienced the kind of painful awakening that is both individual and universal, personal and social.

Years would go by before she traced this American trauma back to her own South African past. Lisa-Jo was a teenager when her mother died of cancer, leaving her with her father. Though they shared a language of faith and justice, she often feared him, unaware that his fierce temper had deep roots in a family’s and a nation’s pain. Decades later, old wounds reopened when she found herself repeating the violent patterns of her childhood in her own parenting. Only then did she begin the journey back to the beginning to find a way to break old cycles and write a new story for her family and the next generation.

MEET LISA-JO BAKER

LISA-JO BAKER is a bestselling author with a BA in English/prelaw from Gordon College and a JD from the University of Notre Dame Law School. Lisa-Jo has lived and worked on three continents in the human rights field and subsequently spent nearly a decade leading the online community of women called (in)courage as their editor in chief and community manager. Originally from South Africa, Lisa-Jo now lives just outside Washington, D.C., where she met and fell in love with her husband in the summer of ’96. Their story together spans decades, languages, countries, books, three very opinionated children, and one dog.

https://lisajobaker.com/

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