Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory

S3 Ep10 Divorce with Dr. Carrie Collier

Sep 9, 2025
Dr. Carrie Collier, a seasoned researcher and therapist specializing in Bowen Family Systems Theory, joins hosts Dixie Vandersluys and Katie White to explore the complexities of divorce. They discuss the importance of understanding family history and patterns during marital changes. Dr. Collier highlights how emotional fusion in a marriage can reflect separation intensity and emphasizes personal growth opportunities that arise during divorce. The conversation includes practical advice on utilizing coaches and maintaining communication to support family dynamics.
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ADVICE

Ask What You Want To Learn

  • Ask yourself what you want to learn about yourself when considering divorce.
  • Use therapy or coaching to focus on self-differentiation rather than only blaming the other person.
INSIGHT

Triangles Multiply And Intensify

  • Triangles proliferate during divorce, drawing in lawyers, mediators, friends, and family.
  • Pre-existing triangles often shift or intensify around custody, money, and loyalties.
ADVICE

Get A Thought Partner Early

  • Seek a coach or therapist to help maintain clear thinking and reduce reactive fusion.
  • Stay still briefly to process emotions before making major legal or relational moves.
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