New Mindset, Who Dis? 783 - A counterintuitive way to get people to say yes to you
Mar 9, 2026
A counterintuitive persuasion tactic: explicitly offering people an easy out can increase their willingness to comply. Real-world street experiments and research on psychological reactance are discussed. Practical phrasing tips show how framing requests as invitations reduces pressure. Advice also covers applying the same freedom-based phrasing to your own choices.
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Telling People They Can Say No Gets More Yeses
- Explicitly telling someone they can refuse increases compliance.
- Nicolas Nui-Guin and Alexandre Pascual found people gave more money when asked plus the phrase you are free to accept or refuse.
Reactance Explains The Paradoxical Effect
- Psychological reactance makes people push back when they sense their freedom is threatened.
- When you remove the threat by honoring autonomy, people decide based on values instead of defensiveness.
Phrase Requests As Invitations Not Ultimatums
- Phrase requests as invitations and offer an explicit out to increase agreement.
- Use lines like if the timing doesn't work let me know or only if you have bandwidth to lower pressure and get better yeses.
