Mirror - kids activities: listener question

Looping back to jiu jitsu again (also a metaphor for other things. And a complete mirror for me) - I’m tempted to say, well, it’s me who has decided that this is good for them. And clearly, it’s just not their thing. Let’s try another activity. Or no activities. And that’s probably true on some level, I suppose. But I’m also feeling that they haven’t actually experienced really doing jiu jitsu. Because they have been so caught up in “I don’t like going with this particular kid. They always go too hard. Why don’t I win medals? I’m too tired. That coach doesn’t like me,” and on and on and on.  So it doesn’t feel clean or right to say just quit at this point. But they seem to be moving further into the story with increasing struggle, and my suggestions or attempts to “explain what’s really going on here” (shockingly) have not been helpful. Also, won’t this cycle just repeat itself with the next activity they try? So I guess that’s my question… Can I help a little kid come more into reality? 

And now after writing all of that, it’s seeming like I should just keep using this as a mirror.