Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Shut Up Therapist & How to Destroy a Relationship

8 snips
Mar 16, 2026
They tackle therapist oversharing, countertransference, and how to give candid feedback without wrecking care. They debate when silence or intervention helps in therapy and whether TV spoilers matter. They list deliberate ways to destroy a relationship—name‑calling, keeping score, contempt, stonewalling, refusal to repair, and avoiding vulnerability. They close with what makes a real apology and why repair matters.
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ADVICE

Tell Your Therapist When They Talk Over You

  • Do bring up therapist behaviors that derail sessions directly and calmly.
  • Bob and Kirk recommend naming the problem, offering examples, and using it as work on individuation given enmeshment history.
INSIGHT

Therapy Can Recreate Family Enmeshment Patterns

  • Therapy interactions can recreate family enmeshment via client transference and therapist countertransference.
  • Kirk notes the client may unconsciously pick therapists who enable repeating old relational patterns, which itself becomes material for therapy.
ADVICE

Use Feedback To Practice Speaking Your Mind

  • Do use feedback as a therapeutic theme: practice speaking your mind and check how it feels to assert autonomy.
  • Bob would thank the client, inquire how long they've held it, and make 'speaking your mind' a recurring discussion.
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