Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children TPP 282: Dr. Melanie Hayes on Living Your Best Life for Twice Exceptional Adults
Feb 22, 2022
Dr. Melanie Hayes, educator, therapist, and founder of the Big Minds model, advocates for twice-exceptional adults. She discusses shifting from forcing conformity to radical self-acceptance. Topics include masking and exhaustion, discovering 2E identity later in life, sensory self-care and escape hatches, workplace and relationship needs, and building extended support for launching into adulthood.
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Radical Self Acceptance Changes The Goal
- Radical self-acceptance reframes the goal from making 2E kids fit society to asking society to adapt for them.
- Melanie Hayes says masking and suffering happen because norms force neurodivergent people to continually conform, causing harm over time.
Address Practical Adult Needs Directly
- Support 2E adults across life domains by addressing concrete needs like work, housekeeping, romance, and self-care.
- Hayes wrote Being Twice Exceptional to offer practical guidance and stories specifically for twice exceptional adults with autism.
Giftedness Often Hides The Effort Of Disability
- Giftedness can mask disabilities, hiding how much energy 2EA people expend to function in typical settings.
- Hayes gives the meeting example where a brilliant thought is lost because sensory and social load prevent timely response.
