FamilyLife Today® How to Fight Better: Your Marriage-Conflict Survival Guide - Dave & Ashley Willis
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Feb 10, 2026 
Dave Willis, a pastor-therapist who blends biblical wisdom with practical tools, and Ashley Willis, a pastor-therapist and counselor who shares personal stories and strategies. They unpack common conflict patterns, talk about verbal versus internal processors, timing for hard conversations, teamwork mindset, handling small fights first, and rebuilding trust after hurts.
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Passive Tests Backfired
- Ashley used 'Jedi mind tricks' early in marriage, giving Dave the cold shoulder to test him.
- That passive strategy backfired and forced them to learn direct communication.
Literal Interpretation Caused Conflicts
- Dave described being literal and missing Ashley's implied requests like 'we need to mow the yard.'
- Misreading 'we' created small fights until they learned to speak clearly.
Different Processing Styles Matter
- Ashley is a verbal processor and Dave is an internal processor, so timing matters.
- Recognizing processing styles let them prepare and help each other win.